Saturday, June 30, 2007
Yea i know...
I said i was going to be updated the ol' blogger more often but truth be told... i haven't even thought of doing it lately.
Lots of things have been going on lately... i have no cpu anymore. apparently it decided to die on me, so i'm on a borrowed machine for now. i've discovered that if you don't eat, your alcohol tolerance goes to ZERO. As far as my personal life... i wish i wouldn't have screwed things up to begin with. if i hadn't done that then i wouldn't be feeling like a shit bag all the time. and yes i said shit bag b/c that's what i feel like lately. i want to be with her, but she has her defenses up b/c of all the crap i put her through... and i don't blame her. who would? maybe its time i get hurt to realize waht a douche i've been. the thing is i realized all that, but it was too late. and now i'm stuck with the feeling of impending doom. at any moment she can call everything off b/c of all the shit i've done to her. what a fuck up i am....
but it's like brad paisely says... "Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind waitin' on a woman."
and i know waiting for her will be worth everything. i just hope i don't fuck it all up.
i need to go fishing... but haven't had the time. i don't know what to do anymore. should i just ride the wave i'm in... fall off the back end of it and wait for the next one? or should i just try my damndest to stay with it till the end? lately sometimes i've been wanting to just flip it over and go under... but something is keeping me afloat and riding that wave... i think i know what or rather who that someone is that's keeping me afloat, but i don't think that person has a clue. i don't even know what i'm talking about anymore... i think i'm going to sleep. g'nite.
~Mike
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I said i was going to be updated the ol' blogger more often but truth be told... i haven't even thought of doing it lately.
Lots of things have been going on lately... i have no cpu anymore. apparently it decided to die on me, so i'm on a borrowed machine for now. i've discovered that if you don't eat, your alcohol tolerance goes to ZERO. As far as my personal life... i wish i wouldn't have screwed things up to begin with. if i hadn't done that then i wouldn't be feeling like a shit bag all the time. and yes i said shit bag b/c that's what i feel like lately. i want to be with her, but she has her defenses up b/c of all the crap i put her through... and i don't blame her. who would? maybe its time i get hurt to realize waht a douche i've been. the thing is i realized all that, but it was too late. and now i'm stuck with the feeling of impending doom. at any moment she can call everything off b/c of all the shit i've done to her. what a fuck up i am....
but it's like brad paisely says... "Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind waitin' on a woman."
and i know waiting for her will be worth everything. i just hope i don't fuck it all up.
i need to go fishing... but haven't had the time. i don't know what to do anymore. should i just ride the wave i'm in... fall off the back end of it and wait for the next one? or should i just try my damndest to stay with it till the end? lately sometimes i've been wanting to just flip it over and go under... but something is keeping me afloat and riding that wave... i think i know what or rather who that someone is that's keeping me afloat, but i don't think that person has a clue. i don't even know what i'm talking about anymore... i think i'm going to sleep. g'nite.
~Mike
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
MAN DOWN!!
My cpu is dead. it won't turn on anymore or load windows. i think it may be the end of an era. or a hard drive... not sure yet. I really wanna go fishing... but i'm broke. my truck is rotting away and i need a newer one. my job sucks and they keep treating me like shit... i need a new one. I miss jennifer like crazy and i've been working on trying to gain her trust back and be with her... but only time will tell on that one.
lately i've been real depressed about everything. i miss jennifer so much and i've realized that i'm an idiot for letting something so beautiful go to shit. our relationship that is. but i have no one to blame but myself for that. and people wonder why i'm depressed? yea... plus i think i drink too much. i haven't lately, which is a good sign that i'm NOT an alcoholic like i think i am. Did i mention how much i miss jennifer? yea.. i thought i did. just making sure. i want her back and nothing else will do in my life. NOTHING. Put it this way... i've been so down lately, i don't even wanna go fishing.
Trying to Rock...
~Mike
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My cpu is dead. it won't turn on anymore or load windows. i think it may be the end of an era. or a hard drive... not sure yet. I really wanna go fishing... but i'm broke. my truck is rotting away and i need a newer one. my job sucks and they keep treating me like shit... i need a new one. I miss jennifer like crazy and i've been working on trying to gain her trust back and be with her... but only time will tell on that one.
lately i've been real depressed about everything. i miss jennifer so much and i've realized that i'm an idiot for letting something so beautiful go to shit. our relationship that is. but i have no one to blame but myself for that. and people wonder why i'm depressed? yea... plus i think i drink too much. i haven't lately, which is a good sign that i'm NOT an alcoholic like i think i am. Did i mention how much i miss jennifer? yea.. i thought i did. just making sure. i want her back and nothing else will do in my life. NOTHING. Put it this way... i've been so down lately, i don't even wanna go fishing.
Trying to Rock...
~Mike
